Next time, I'm answering the door naked.

I swear, next person that knocks on my damn door today is going to get a surprise.

First was the door-to-door Obama brigade. He said, "Ok, and whichever candidate you vote for, is everyone in the house registered to vote? Does anyone need help with doing that? Walking them through the paperwork, etc?" I said, "Dude, if someone can't figure out how to register to vote, I really don't think I WANT them voting." He finally left.

After that, some teenager from down the road came up and asked if I wanted my lawn mowed. I asked how much, and he said $50. Go fuck yourself, kid.

And finally, the Mormons. They started in on their little shpiel, and I said in a really hushed tone, "You guys probably don't want to be here." They looked at each other, totally horrified, then asked me why. I said, "I'm excommunicated. There are other LDS in this area, and if they see you talking to me..."

Christ Almighty, will they STOP KNOCKING ON MY DOOR TODAY???

I swear...next one who knocks is going to see my knockers, whether they like it or not.

Now knock it off.