Saturday, February 6, 2010

Clashing Decorations

So Eddie and I have some rather unique decorations in our house. Statues, weapons, artistic nude photos, a Seahawks flag, a movie poster for "Walk The Line", Shi Shi dogs, a jackalope with a pair of sunglasses, Eddie, etc. They all kind of go together in an eccentric sort of way, especially with our painfully bland government-issue furniture as a backdrop.

However, given our strange tastes, our decor is bound to clash once in a while, and this week, boy did they ever.

You see, loyal blog minions, we have a pedestal in one corner of our living room. This coveted piece of real estate has been heretofore occupied by Lester. And Lester has been perfectly content on his plaster pedestal:
Lester is kept company by Phred Foo, who stands watch at the base of the pedestal...
All was peachy in Pedestalville until a few days ago, when a newcomer arrived in our household. That newcomer is Doug. Say hello, Doug:
Okay, so Doug doesn't want to say hello. He's not terribly talkative. He did, however, quickly make friends with some of the locals. Specifically, the Shi Shi dogs, Mephistofelees the Mighty and Muffin:
And all was well for a while, but then Doug saw Lester's pedestal and thought, "Hmm, I would quite like to stand on that pedestal."
See? Told you that's what he thought. Apparently he is unaware of the Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Pedestal.

Anyway, thinking that the diplomatic approach might work best, he approached Lester in the living room.
When that didn't work, Doug waited until Lester had gone out to walk Phred Foo, and just marched right in and took the pedestal.
He looks pretty smug up there, doesn't he?

Well, Lester came home. And Lester was not happy.
What happened next can only be described's simply too horrific to describe. I assure you, loyal blog minions, you don't want to know about it. The aftermath was bad enough:
Needless to say, Doug surrendered and returned to his place beside the sliding glass door. Mephistofelees the Mighty and Muffin had returned to their homes on either side of the television. Phred Foo is still at the foot of the pedestal...honestly, I don't even know if he realizes anything ever happened:
Lester, of course, has reclaimed his rightful place atop the pedestal, where he has resumed his simple life of contentment.
I don't think this is the end of our clash of decorations, though. Just this afternoon, I overheard Doug grumbling in Lester's general direction...
Will Doug again try to win the coveted place atop the pedestal? Will Lester have to open up a can of monk whoop-ass again? Will Mephistofelees the Mighty and Phred Foo start a pyramid scheme with Bear the Buddha Cat? Stay tuned...


  1. *Giggle* I feel like this epic struggle should be turned into a blockbuster film! Think of the uh....statuesque actors they could hire for the parts of Doug and Lester!