So if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years, it's that posting my word count progress meters publicly is incredibly motivating. I highly doubt anyone looks at them except me, but the meters are visible nonetheless...and deep in the darkest corners of my little brain is an incredibly paranoid voice who insists that EVERYONE IS WATCHING and they will NOTICE if the word counts don't progress like a very progressive thing. I know that little voice is full of it, but nevertheless, I am neurotic about not letting those counters stay stagnant.
After struggling to lose weight the last year or two, I've come to the conclusion that the same principle applies. I need someone peering over my shoulder, kicking my ass, and telling me EVERYONE NOTICES even when I know full well they don't. I'll be signing up with a personal trainer at some point, but for the time being, I need to stir up that voice in the back of my head so it starts running on its "OH GOD THEY'RE JUDGING ME" hamster wheel, which will get me off my butt and into the gym where I will repeatedly lift heavy things and put them down.
So...I will now be including weight loss updates every couple of weeks on my blog. Specifically, the 1st and 15th. My goals are not as obsessively numeric as my word counts; I've also recently figured out that one of my weight loss pitfalls is my obsession with numbers. Even when I know I'm slimming down, I get twitchy because the scale isn't moving much, which then results in a downward spiral that ultimately ends in "fuck it, I give up."
So, here I am today, looking delightfully disheveled after a workout:
And from the side...
Goal #1: Look less like a pregnant Cabbage Patch kid.
This is a dress a friend gave me a few years ago after I'd lost some weight:
Ironically, it looks bigger on the hanger. Go figure. Anyway...
Goal #2: Fit into ye olde green dress o' slimness in time for Authors After Dark in August. And by "fit," I mean put it on, look in the mirror, and not feel like crawling under the bed and crying.
This is the dress I wore to all three homecoming dances in high school (1996, 1997, and 1998):
And it still fit for some years after high school, taking me through a few formal events without the requisite shopping trip.
Goal #3: Fit into this dress, with the same caveats as the green dress, by GayRomLit in October.
And finally...my wedding ring, which I haven't been able to wear in *mumble* years thanks to gaining *mutter* pounds:
Goal #4: Get that fucker all the way on my finger -- without the use of WD40, my finger bloating to strangled proportions, and the use of a can opener to remove it -- by December 14th, which is my 10th wedding anniversary.
These are my goals, and my goals are these.
I shall persevere, and I shall be happier with my body by the time the world ends on December 21st.