Thursday, September 4, 2008

Laying vampires and writing about tiles. Er...wait...

I've actually had a decently productive day.

I finished chapter 2 of my new vampire novel, and made some headway on chapter 3, in between discussing the historical logistics of one of my possible plot points with Nichola. How DOES a conversation about vampires disintegrate into one about Popes, caulk, and sparkles?

Then, I went to the Navy Personal Property Department and took part in an exercise in inefficiency, wherein it took 45 minutes to complete a simple date change for an upcoming pack-out. C'mon folks, really? The form is surprisingly simple for military paperwork: There is a blank that indicates "date of pack-out". Below it, there is another blank that says "revised pack-out date", in case of situations like mine, in which I need to push the date back a couple of weeks. Very simple: Cross out first date. Enter second date. Sign. DONE. Seriously, I think this lady was fired from the DMV for being slow, inefficient, stupid, and cantankerous.

I came home and put another coat of poly on my dining room floor. Then I finally got to putting tile down in front of my front door. The hardwood floor is damaged there from a leak under the door, so this is a quick and easy cosmetic fix.

Now, here's one thing that kind of annoys me about home improvement projects: I think they are promoting rubber glove apathy. Every fucking project says "be sure to wear rubber/protective/latex/steel plate gloves while doing this". Now, when using wood stripper, I can totally understand it. That shit burns. Gloves are definitely a necessity. But for other things, such as painting? I mean, c'mon...I'm using non-toxic, latex paint. The worst that can happen is that I get a splatter of paint on my skin which, when dry, peels off. Everywhere I look, I am commanded to wear gloves. I suppose it's only a matter of time before it's recommended that I wear gloves while hammering in a nail. In fact, I expect that sooner or later, there will be someone at the entrance to Home Depot handing out latex gloves to wear while shopping there.

I'm all for safety, don't get me wrong. But this obsessive glove recommendation is actually having the opposite effect on me. I'm beginning to read these ominous glove warnings and think "yeah yeah yeah, whatever, gloves, got it", and not wearing gloves.

Case in point: My tile grout came with a nice pair of rubber gloves. Holy hell, what a pain in the ass. After about seven tiles, I took my gloves off and just started throwing grout down with my bare hands. I am cavewoman, hear me roar. LOL

Now, for all I know, there is some kind of horrific toxin lurking within the grout that has now burrowed into my skin and is turning my spleen to sludge. Or the oils in my skin will cause the grout to crumble into useless glitter, rendering all of my efforts a complete waste. But I really don't think so. As of now, my spleen still seems to be functioning, and my tile work is glitter free.

So...I think they need to be a bit more conservative about their glove warnings. Or at least explain WHY. "Wear gloves if you don't want dirty hands." "Wear gloves if you want live past 7 pm." "Wear gloves if you ever want to have children." "If you're happy and you know it, wear gloves." Etc. If someone is going to tell me or anyone else to put a sheet of rubber or latex over a particular body part, I do think an explanaton is warranted.

And perhaps, in re-reading this blog entry, I should heed the warnings about ventilation and respirators when putting poly down. I am sooooo high right now...


  1. I wonder if the current Pope is a vampire? Heh.

    Well...I'm a bookworm. Head full of trivia and I knew it would come in useful someday. How else would you have found out that there's been both an English Pope and a female one?! :D

    I expect a mention in the dedications and a go at JRM when he's cast in the movie.

  2. Hang about...while pootling around your blog I noticed you used the phrase 'useless glitter' here.

    Glitter is not useless! Glitter is teh srs bznz!

    TRU FAX.