Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Letter to a Character.

Dear Secondary Character,

This letter is in regards to your participation in my novel, "Sins of the Father".

First, I'd like to thank you for your hard work and dedication so far. You've been a solid team player, and have gone above and beyond expectations. You've taken quite a beating during this project, including traveling across a scorching desert, being thrown from a ship and forced to swim halfway across a harbor in November, having your arm sliced open by a crabby demon, and numerous lengthy visits to a torture chamber. You should be proud.

However, I regret that I will be terminating your employment prior to the originally agreed upon scene. You and I both know that you were hired on to be used as eventual canon fodder, but it would seem that we have reached the end of your usefulness much earlier than expected. I can no longer justify your existence continuing until the book's climax, because quite frankly, there is no reason to let you live.

This letter is your notice that you will be meeting your rather slow, gruesome end in chapter 65 instead of your previously scheduled sudden, relatively quick death in chapter 81. You will be pleased to know that your rescheduled demise will serve to motivate another character to do what he's supposed to do, and will move the story along much better than it would if I allowed you to continue to breathe.

The Human Resources department will be contacting you soon about your severance package. The villain will be contacting you soon about severing a few limbs. Thank you for your hard work and dedication on "Sins of the Father".



1 comment: