Getting Involved.

One of the double-edged swords of writing fiction is that you get seriously involved in your characters. If you've ever let yourself get totally immersed in reading a story, you probably understand: For all intents and purposes, the people in the story are real. They laugh, you laugh. They hurt, you hurt. They get pissed, you see red.

This is one of the ways I gauge whether or not I'm on the right track with a story: If I get completely involved in my characters. Also, if my beta readers get involved. I know I'm doing something right when people (myself included) start getting emotionally wrapped up in the characters.

Therein lies the other edge of the sword, though: Getting that involved makes it hard to write.

Right now, I'm 70,000 words into Rules of Engagement, and I'm getting down to the difficult scenes. I'm down to the parts where I have to hurt my characters, and I have to cut both of them pretty deep. I've already written the ending, so I know how it turns out, but the scenes leading up to it are not pleasant. And writing it is painful. It really is. There's one chapter in particular in which the two main characters tear their relationship apart, and it has been one of the hardest chapters I've ever had to write.

On one hand, it's a good sign. I'm getting involved, and my loyal beta readers (Adam and Scarlett) are getting involved. This tells me the characters are sympathetic, the story is believable, and a reader will be biting their nails to see if things work out. On the other, it's actually painful for me to put my characters through this. It's like watching a real person go through hell, only I'm the one who's putting them through that hell.

It's kind of funny, in this case. I expected the biggest challenge of Rules of Engagement to be writing from the point of view of a man. I expected to run into some difficulties with the fact that I've never been a man involved with another man (you know, me being a woman and all). But as it turns out, the most difficult part of this book has been putting two characters I really, really like through the emotional ringer.

Now, off to find some Kleenex and write chapter 44.