Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Dictionarah of Destinah

Many newcomers have recently joined the ranks of my loyal blog minions, and as such, may not be familiar with some of the lingo around these parts. Through countless hours of instant messaging, Scarlett and I have developed our own jargon, and it often works its way into blog entries, much to the confusion of those not regularly exposed to our nitwittery.

So, I have formulated this handy - but not alphabetized, because I don't feel like it - of terms that you may see in my blog and hers. (Apologies for some format issues and funky font...Blogger and I are having a disagreement about some copied/pasted material)
  • Gerronwi’ Gerrinit Writ – A rather slurred version of “Get on with getting it writ.” Also sometimes abbreviated as “GGIW”.
  • Those Scenes ™ - Sex scenes.
  • Vodka & Video Games – My ritual of celebration upon completing a first draft.
  • Wangstbasket, The – A metaphorical trash can for books that don’t get finished, usually because more wangsting than writing occurs, which is in turn a result of a crappy plot.
  • Wangsting – (verb) Angsting + Whining = Wangsting
  • YOOGN – Ye Olde Omnipresent Green Notebook. The spiral notebook I carry around with me to make notes. Soon to be retired and replaced by SHAG.
  • SHAG - Scarlet Holder of All Greatness, so named by Scarlett herself because it’s red. YOOGN’s successor.
  • BNOD – Blue Notebook of Destinah. Scarlett’s version of YOOGN.
  • WDTM/WDTW – Well done, that man/woman. Self-explanatory.
  • Bestseller McBadass – All-encompassing nickname for the collective of authors that we are a) encouraged to aspire to, since clearly that’s the only form of success, b) discouraged because we’re clearly not BMcB, or c) told to emulate.
  • Characterocracy – A WIP that is run by the characters. The characters take off with scenes, alter the course of the story, and generally overrun the whole thing. This is a good thing.
  • Magic Feather – That little spark that brings a particular character to life. Can be anything from an accent to a specific type of vehicle to a tongue piercing, whatever it takes to get us excited about writing that person’s story.
  • Magic Bullet – That magic anything that will make the writing process easier/faster. It doesn’t exist.
  • Writer’s Block – Doesn’t exist. Period.
  • Milestone of Destinah – 15,000 words. By this point, I can tell if a book will sink or swim. If it makes it past 15,000, it will most likely be finished.
  • GOOBW – Golden Orbs of Blond Wiggery. Refers to the atrocity that is the film Alexander. If you don’t understand what it means, you haven’t seen the movie, and I envy you, you bastard.
  • SIS, or “Sort it, Shithead” – Shorthand for “There is something seriously wrong with your sentence/paragraph/page/chapter/story. Fix it at ONCE.” (This is one of Scarlett's inventions)
  • IHUB – Shorthand for “I hate you, bitch”, which is shorthand for “I wish I’d written this bit myself and am jealous, so I hate you, you bitch”. Used in critiques. Highly coveted and treasured. (another of Scarlett's inventions)
  • CAPITAL LETTERS OF DISDAIN - Similar to an IHUB. When the seething professional jealousy can only be conveyed through capital letters and rage. Again, Scarlett.
  • Bobbery or Bobberah – Shorthand for “As you know, Bob…” (in other words, a writing sin in which characters say things strictly for the benefit of the reader)
  • Stabbery or Stabberah – Shorthand for “If any editor tells you to remove this bit, I will stab them. If you remove it, I will stab you.”
  • Mature – What we aren’t.
  • The Violence of My Love - To quote Scarlett, "applied to anything you love so much it makes you want to kill the author and keep their head as a trophy"
  • Bubblements - Comments using the MS Word "comments" function. Seeing as how they're comments, and they come up in bubbles, that makes them...you know...bubblements. Or something.
  • SQDNAT or Squidnat - Acronym for "Stupid Questions, Do Not Ask Them". Used in response to stupid questions such as "Do you think I have too many sex scenes in this book?" or "Does Jared Leto look better with or without a shirt?"
  • Chinbeard - noun. Something you stroke (not like that!) when deep in thought. Must be invisible, or its powers are rendered powerless. Often invoked by writers to help untangle plot knots.
  • Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhh - Said in one long breath as a sigh, to express approval of the hotness of any given mancandy/dirty chapters either Scarlett or myself have recently written.
  • Shrubbery - What you bring when you IHUB yourself. ex. "Oh this chapter is so good I brought myself MENNY shrubberies!" Invented by Scarlett.
  • Word Dentistry - When getting the words out is like pulling teeth.
  • Chapter 32 - (verb) When the conclusion to a book, whether written sequentially or not, is so satisfying you wish you wrote faster so you could have that 'emotional loose-ends-being-tied-up-God-they-should-SO-be-together' feeling more frequently. Ex, "I totally chapter 32'd myself with this novel." From the chapter Scarlett just wrote, after skipping ahead to write the ending of The Devil You Know (Numbers subject to change if she adjusts her manuscript on the edits).
  • P.O.S.H. - Pangs of Seething Hatred. The feelings of raging jealousy that accompany reading an incredibly written chapter. Happens to me rather frequently when reading anything written by Scarlett or Kuwisdelu. Similar to an IHUB, but with more feeling.
  • ATROSLAAC - At The Risk of Sounding Like An Arrogant C*** (or Cock). Used to preface certain statements. Self-explanatory.
  • Cocknopsis - A Scarlett-written synopsis for an erotic novel.
  • GLARGHMERGBITCHGROAN - An expression of frustration used by Lori in IM conversations, usually relating to editing.
  • gheydits - Shorthand for "editing my current gay book."
  • hedits - Shorthand for "editing my current hetero book."

Check back occasionally, as I'm sure this will be updated.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. As well as a few other things, I'll be bound.

    And Lori - DAMN those formatting issues. And DAMN YOU for giving away our secrets!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.