I Reject the Need to Feel Rejected

Ahhh, one of the fun parts of the writing business: Rejection. For every acceptance, there are countless rejections, and everybody gets them.

It's easy to let them get under your skin. I mean, it's not pleasant to hear that your baby is ugly, right? When I started out, I fully expected every rejection to be a blow to my ego. Now, maybe I've just developed a thick skin, but to my surprise, it really hasn't had that effect.

Are they frustrating? Absolutely. Do I wish I got fewer of them? Hell yeah. Do they make me want to curl into a fetal position and cry? Erm...no. Not everyone is going to like everything I've written, and this includes agents and editors, so a rejection just means "Not my cup of tea", as opposed to "Never pick up a pen again, you horrible excuse for a writer wannabe!"

That, and maybe I'm just immune to them now. Here are my stats for this year:

Camera Shy - 28
Playing With Fire - 14
Rules of Engagement - 7
Luke Boydston's Baby - 6
With The Band - 4
The Best Man - 2
Between Brothers - 1
Breaking the Rules - 1

Total: 63

As of right now, I have 29 queries for 7 books floating around out there. Several of them will probably be getting responses within the next week or so, as per the individual agent's/editor's customary turnaround time. It's enough to make my heart jump into my throat whenever my e-mail alert goes off, but really, the whole rejection thing hasn't bothered me as much as I expected it to. There was a time when anything less than glowing praise and enthusiastic acceptance of my writing would have turned me into a wangsting basketcase, but after looking over my stats yesterday and filing the latest four rejections, realized that I've accepted rejection as a necessary evil. It's part of the game, so why get upset over it?

I've also been fortunate enough to receive some very positive rejections. Lengthy e-mails explaining why a particular piece is really good, but for whatever reason, doesn't fit their requirements. Encouragement to send something else. Things like that.

And really, sometimes even the most frustrating rejection - in my case, a cancelled contract - can be a good thing. I've mentioned more than once that losing the contract on Playing With Fire was the best thing that ever happened to that story. Yes, it was still a blow to the ego, but in the end, it was a good thing. For one, it gave me a chance to rewrite the story and make it so, so much better. For another, when I receive rejections now and my ego threatens to shrivel up and die over it, I can point to the contract cancellation and say, "could be worse, dude."

Okay, enough rambling about rejections. I was looking over my submission spreadsheet yesterday and it just occured to me that rejections weren't bothering me as much as I expected to back in my "OMG I want to be a writer someday" phase. They're not personal, they're business. It's not "your baby is ugly", it's "no thanks, I don't want to buy your product".

That's not to say they're fun to receive, but hey, it's all about perspective.

And this is for Libbie, since she's riding the Rejection Train too:Writing's a dirty job but...I wouldn't want it any other way.