Friday, August 15, 2008

Karma, bitch...kthx...

Today, the movers came and took all of our belongings that will be left in storage for the next 3+ years. For the most part, all went swimmingly, but one of the guys was a total douchebag. He came in and pretty much started telling me what to do, telling me I needed to move this, move that, get that out of the way, etc. Dude, don't come in my fucking house and start being a jackass. I SO wanted to boot him out, but was worried the rest of the crew would leave (and I SO don't want to have to pay for a "failed pick-up").

It turns out that the cosmos has a sense of humor, and apparently, this guy has a severe cat allergy. He was pissed off that I didn't tell him I had cats (the bags of kitty litter, stack of kitty carriers, well-worn scratching post, numerous half-chewed toy mice, the can of catnip, and a bag of catfood was apparently not enough of a sign), and started sneezing like crazy. He said, "I can't work in here, I'm working out in the truck." Fine by me: the other guys were all very nice and professional, and made short work out of emptying my house while Sneezy-Grumpy loaded boxes into the truck. I think he was still bitching the entire time, in between sneezing and LOUDLY horking everytime his nose got stuffed up. I stayed inside, he stayed outside, and all was well.

I actually feel really bad for being amused by this, but like I said, the guy was a douchebag, so I don't have a lot of sympathy for him. He was on the ladder in the truck and fell. Hit pretty hard, but was able to get up and move around. Spent the last hour limping around whining about his arm (but didn't want us to call the paramedics, so obviously it wasn't too serious). In the end, I think he actually broke his collarbone, because it was starting to swell.

Either way, I can't help but think "That's karma, bitch..."

Now, it seems like too much of a coincidence for BOTH of these misfortunes to befall him in such a short period of time, and with such ferocity. That said, I'm reasonably certain that the combination of the allergic reaction and the fall can be explained by one thing and one thing only:

My cats have evil superpowers.

Especially since I looked up at my bedroom window and saw one of them sitting in the window staring smugly down at Gimpy-Sneezy-Grumpy after he fell. Her expression said nothing if not "that's what you get, fucker". cats have telekinesis. You'd think they could use their powers for changing their own damn litterboxes...but I'm not going to piss them off by asking...


  1. My cats have super powers too. They can meow me into submission