Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fun With Grocery Shopping.

Yet another reason why Eddie and I will probably end up being deported sooner or later...

This works best if you're capable of keeping a straight face...Eddie and I managed, so anyone can.

Go grocery shopping with a friend, your spouse, anyone who can also keep a straight face. Proceed as normal, picking up whatever items you normally buy. However, casually - but not very discreetly - discuss whether or not you should buy each item based on whether or not it appears on the Zombie Survival Guide's list of items that should be kept on hand in case of a zombie attack.

Occasionally, especially if you've already attracted a couple of stares, let the debate go on for a minute or two. Try to have pre-planned reasons why you absolutely shouldn't buy a cantaloupe (the "splorch" sound when you cut them open resembles splitting a skull open, and thus could attract the zombies), and a handful of reasons why raisins are a must-have (you never know when you might need to flick one into a zombie's eye).

Bonus: If someone actually asks you about it, explain at length that you keep a "zombie stash" of non-perishable items so that you'll still be able to eat if/when the zombies come.

Hey, if you can't make grocery shopping fun, what's the point?


  1. Your soooo getting voted of the island

  2. But if there's a zombie apocalypse, you're the first person I'm calling!