I've been observing people around me lately, as well as the way they interact online, or the things they talk about, etc, and just had a few thoughts.
To illustrate these thoughts, let's take a hypothetical couple and scrutinize them a bit.
We'll call them...oh, hell...Dick and Jane. Because that's completely and totally uncreative and cliched. So...see Dick and Jane.
Now, let's say Dick and Jane are married. Jane works outside the home. In fact, she makes more money than Dick. Dick, however, controls the finances. He demands to know every penny she spends...not only how much and on what, but why. Her $10 book purchase may as well be a capitol crime, but she may as well just accept that he'll indulge in a little $50 luxury at his discretion.
When Jane wants to go anywhere without Dick, she'd also damn well better explain where she's going, with whom, why, and when she'll be home. And if Dick calls while she's out, she'd better not get pissy with him, because he's just checking to see what she's doing, where she is, when she's coming home, if she's spent any money, etc...even if he just did the same thing 20 minutes ago. This is all assuming that Dick gave Jane permission to go out in the first place.
When Jane gets home from work, she checks her Facebook page and quietly groans to herself because Dick has - once again - used his status message to let the world know he's frustrated with some menial sin of hers. I'm not talking about good-humored potshots or playing around...I mean venting publicly, airing dirty laundry, and making Jane look like a complete and utter douchebag. She doesn't dare reply, because it'll just invite conflict...and it'll invite outsiders into said conflict. Retaliating with a similarly passive aggressive message is right out for the same reason. Besides, by now, all of his friends/family are pretty well convinced that Jane is a good-for-nothing bitch anyway, so there's no point in trying to argue. Instead, she just quietly goes about her business.
Dick brags about how well-trained she is. He keeps her on a short leash, and by golly, she'd better like it.
I think you get the idea.
Sounds like a pretty oppressive situation for Jane, doesn't it? Suddenly the name "Dick" is much more apropos, and I think we'd all be telling our good friend Jane to either put her foot down or use it to boot Dick's sorry ass out the door.
So...
Let's switch the roles.
Same scenario, same behavior, but now Jane's the controlling, oppressive twunt.
Why is it suddenly okay now?
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I don't think it is okay. But, then again, my husband and I are joined at the hip (hee hee, that sounds dirty) and call each other all the time AND know just about every move the other makes. But, we are each other's best friend. I've seen plenty of people bad mouth their spouses and it really pisses me off. Is whatever your husband/wife doing as bad as talking behind their back and ruining their reputation? Cuz, I think that is probably one of the shittiest things you can do.
ReplyDeleteYeah. It's not okay. And I hate that people just think it's totally dandy when women run men down.
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